Peter does indeed know the story, but for the rest of you.

Every morning, Kylie (my wife) opens the gate while I back the car out of the driveway. Every morning, I stop and check that she's out of the way before I get to the gate. Every morning, she is. This particular morning, I didn't stop. This particular morning, Kylie wasn't out of the way. This particular morning, I hit my own wife with my own car. She was fine.

But the story goes on from there. This occurred about a week before Valentines Day - a fake holiday that we have never really acknowledged. At school on Valentines Day, some students asked me if I had bought Mrs Carney flowers. I told them that I had bought them a week ago, because Valentines was a load of rubbish. They accused me of being cheap. I thought it best not to tell them the real reason.

Excellent!